Think of the last time you were upset with another human being. Were you upset because of the person or because they did not measure up to your expectations in that moment?
When we expect something to happen a certain way and it doesn't, it's only natural to feel disappointed. However, most conflicts occur when we are not willing to compromise with expectations. In a heated discussion our ego takes over and decides to hold onto our rules rather than the relationship itself. When this cycle is not broken then we are inevitably left with plenty of rules but no relationship.
In order to break this cycle, we should stand up for ourselves with grace, communicate our expectations from the heart and compromise with one another. We must strive to transform a situation of conflict with love and kindness. We must keep learning from one another. Learning in any instance is a victory, a stepping stone for the next experience; a building block.
If in a moment of conflict, we ask ourselves “what is more important: my rules or my relationship with this person?, we can gain clarity and stand a chance to save the relationship. After all, if we love someone, and want to keep them in our life, shouldn’t we let them be themselves and keep giving love even when it seems like the odd thing to do in that moment? The answer is simple: Yes!
We all know that communication is extremely important. However, communication doesn’t come naturally to some. This is completely normal, because not only do we have set rules or expectations of the people around us, we have them for ourselves as well. Transforming our rules and expectations of what we deserve from others and ourselves takes patience, self awareness and with a step by step approach, it is possible!