Updated: Apr 22
Happy Halloween! It’s the second most wonderful time of the year!!!
Why do you celebrate Halloween? I celebrate Halloween because its fun! Everyone gets together to laugh and enjoy sweets. Not to mention the connection of community when kids come to the door in their best Halloween costume with their excitement and enthusiastic energy and yell “Trick or Treat”, that lights me up inside.
I see Halloween also as the time to be someone you can’t be other days. For example, this year I am going to be The Black Swan, a character that is the opposite of my actual personality (95% of the time). However, for one day I will experience what it is like to be such a dark character. Halloween is supposed to be spooky and children dressed in darkest of costumes... but in my opinion the darkest of all characters is that of someone who holds a grudge, not just because it hurts others but mostly because it hurts their own soul. I hope you will not hold a grudge against me for bringing this up.
Holding a grudge is when you don’t let it go when you feel someone has insulted you or wronged you. Grudge means to complain or grumble. Someone who bears a grudge is often referred to as a grouchy person. Gandhi once said, "Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong." I agree with him, it does take a lot of courage to move on from a painful experience inflicted on you by someone else. But if you do let go of that anger, you'll be bettering yourself in many ways.
One of my best friends and I had a falling out in high school, I had made a joke that hurt her feelings. I had no idea that it would hurt her so bad that she would stop speaking to me for 3 years to come. It was heart breaking. I felt hurt that she didn’t give me a chance to even ask for forgiveness. So, I was upset with her for being upset with me. She was holding a grudge and I was holding a grudge. When we finally met after 3 years, we both had forgotten why we were upset with each other to begin with, but we knew we were still upset with each other. It felt extremely childish and uncomfortable. As we began to speak, we remembered, and it was sad to know that something so small had kept us apart for 3 years. We apologized and never stopped being friends since then. Its 12 years later and we still speak to each other from time to time and our kids have play dates. I am so glad that we let go of our grudges otherwise we would not be sharing such wonderful experiences with our children together.
Forgiveness is hardly practiced now days. I think we should make Halloween about forgiveness, sharing candy with all to show that old grudges are no longer there. This way at least once a year you can show you care to those that you may have wronged and also make up with those that have wronged you. You see, forgiveness doesn’t mean that you forget it and move on, nor does it mean that you approve of their actions. Forgiveness is about compassionately letting go of the desire to punish someone. Its about setting yourself free. Just like choosing your favorite costume for Halloween is a choice so is forgiving someone.
How do you forgive others:
1) Make the choice to forgive, believe its better on the other side
2) Make a list of all those that have wronged you
3) Describe how they wronged you and when
4) Explain how it makes you feel when you think of that incident (Physically and Emotionally)
5) Embrace the pain and put yourself in others shoes
This Halloween, I encourage you to call someone you haven’t spoken to or hold a grudge against or know that they hold a grudge against you and wish them Happy Halloween. If you can send them a chocolate gift basket to make the gesture even stronger, is even better.
Ok, so I will start: I ask for your forgiveness for if I have wronged you in any way and I also forgive you for if you have wronged me.
I wish you all a fun and safe Halloween.
Live in Passion, Confidence and Peace.