Strive for progress!
I have been spending most of my January either reflecting on my 2018 or establishing my 2019 personal life/business plan. At one point, I decided to make a list of my wins and losses, with the intention to re-evaluate my goals and move the ones that didn't quite make it forward to 2019.
While doing so, the voice of self-doubt became apparent and the inner perfectionist awoke. Upon realizing this, I decided to spend more time to understand exactly why I was feeling this emotion and correct my behaviour. Plus, as a life coach, I wondered how many of my clients were struggling with this inner perfectionist at this time of year.
According to the Canadian Association of Psychologists, "Perfectionism is a multidimensional personality style that is associated with a large number of psychological, interpersonal, and achievement-related difficulties. It is not a disorder but a vulnerability factor that produces problems for adults, adolescents, and children. Often people confuse perfectionism with achievement striving or conscientiousness."
Striving for perfection could have been learned in our childhood but for some it become a lifelong addiction by confusing it with the endeavor to reach goals within a finite time by setting deadlines.
Perfection is ego-based and can easily take over the soul’s journey to wholeness. When we look for perfection, we overlook our true strengths and generate self-doubt. It even stops growth, stifles inner development, steals joy and impedes our ability to connect and empathize with other people.
Three main types of perfectionist behaviours are:
- Self-oriented perfectionism: The requirement for the self to be perfect.
- Other-oriented perfectionism: The requirement that others should be perfect. (e.g., spouse, children, subordinates, and other people in general)
- Socially prescribed perfectionism: The perception that others require us to be perfect. (e.g., one’s parents, boss, and people in general)
Some helpful ways to free ourselves from perfectionism are to:
Set realistic goals
Enjoy the process
Look for the positives in ourselves
Generate a gratitude list
Love ourselves in our entirety, including our imperfections
Embrace our uniqueness
Think of mistakes as lessons
Get to know ourselves
Most importantly, I encourage all of us to learn as much as we can about our strengths, our weaknesses, and our passions, because in doing so, we will embrace our true authentic self and eliminate the inner perfectionist.
Go to https://www.tlwconfidencecoaching.com/freeworkbook and claim your FREE self-awareness workbook today!
Live in Passion, Confidence and Peace,
Certified Strategic Intervention Life Coach